A Day Of Firsts
Today was a day of firsts for our kids and our family. Every year there’s a local strawberry festival nearby and since our kids love fruit above all other foods, we thought it would be fun for them to go. Not only did they get to eat the load of strawberries, but G got a monster truck airbrushed on his arm and the kids watched their first live parade.
G particularly enjoyed these Nascar go-karts.
Later on in the day we attended a wedding, another first for the kids. We learned today that G loves to dance. I mean, we knew he liked to dance because we have dance parties at home all the time, but I figured he might get shy around strangers. Not the case. He tore up the dance floor like no one else. He even tried break dancing (and I’m still not quite sure where he was exposed to it).
Surprisingly, C was anti-dance today and spent much of the dance time holding up the wall while her brother got down by himself.
I’m A Big Kid Now
G is growing up so fast, and I know this because he’s graduated from the baby swings at the playground to the big boy swings. For the longest time he begged me to go on the big boy swings but I would say no because he wouldn’t hold on to the chains and the swing is pretty high off the ground. And even though he can’t create momentum for himself yet, I now trust him enough to hold on without trying to do a backflip while in full motion.
The playground is the perfect testing ground for a child’s maturity. Well, physical maturity anyway. It allows kids to gauge which of the other kids on the playground they can play with. I’ve spent a lot of time at playgrounds the last year or so and I’ve observed the following playground activities around the following ages (roughly);
Keep in mind that when I say playground, I’m talking about an actual playground for children, not a whole park that might have a softball field or tennis courts for adults too.
Ages 0-whenever they walk: This age is mostly for playground exposure. Most kids in this age group just sit or sleep in a shady stroller or car seat while mommy chats it up with other mommies. More adventurous parents sometimes let their babies out of the stroller and sit or crawl nearby. Speaking from experience, it’s inadvisable to give your baby a snack with wildlife nearby. Things could get ugly.
Ages 1-2: Depending on when they started walking, kids in this age group may actually be able to climb low playground equipment or venture up and down ramps. Ladders, both metallic or rope, can be difficult at the younger end of the age group. Slides are a milestone here because kids in this age group start to go down slides on their own. Despite the greater independence, there’s still a lot of handholding and parental trepidation about the safety of independent playground play.
Ages 2-4: The physical skills necessary to traverse most playground equipment should be developed by this age. Swings, slides, ladders, bouncy horses, and just about anything else that doesn’t require a whole lot of upper body strength are mastered, as is playing with others. The downside to this age is that kids can become daredevilish and there’s a greater possibility for “boo boos,” that require much coddling, kissing, and fussing over in order to feel better.
Ages 4-6: Monkey bars become doable and social play becomes more organized and planned out. The downside to this age is kids can become cliquish and mean.
Ages 6-8: I like to think of this age group as the tamest age group of all. Kids seem to play a little more nicely together, they don’t do crazy stuff, and they listen to their parents when they’re told not to jump off the highest point of the playground that’s fifteen feet off the ground. That’s really just my fantasy, though. Kids in this age group can be just as much of a nightmare as any other.
Ages 8-10: Kids sometimes come to the playground without adult supervision at this age and all hell breaks loose. Stick fighting, jumping off that fifteen foot high spot their parents told them not to jump off, and whatever crazy game these kids can think to organize are all fair game. This is the age where if you’re the parent of a younger child while these older children are there, you sometimes have to turn into that crabby adult and scold the older kids for the bad example they’re setting. For example, when my wife and I once witnessed and had to voice our concern to children of this age group pushing a terrified dog down a slide and laughing hysterically while they did it.
Ages 10-12: Playgrounds become less cool to be seen at. By this age, kids have bikes, balls, and video games to occupy their time with and are seen less often at playgrounds.
Ages 13-17: Teenagers don’t really go to playgrounds, but if they do, it might be for the following reasons; A) To make out, B) Drink a soda while sitting on the swings, or C) Do drugs. Ok, to be fair, some teenagers might take their younger sibling to the park and text their homies while sitting on a nearby bench.
Ages 18-21: Unless you had children really young and you’re there with them, what are you doing at a playground?
Ages 22-Death: Either you’re there with your child/grandchild/niece or nephew, or you’re a pervert.
Where Did My Friend Go?
Friends can be elusive when you’re two. If there’s no chemistry, there’s no friendship. Funny enough, all two toddlers really need to have chemistry, is an interest to do the same activity at the same time. That sounds simple, but it’s not. Toddlers usually want to do their own thing, and when they do share an interest, they usually don’t want to share.
There’s a boy in our neighborhood who seems to want to play with G almost every time they see each other. But G never wants to play on the playground with him. Despite having his own truck to drive, G is always more interested in the boy’s Cadillac Escalade Power Wheels. I’m not exactly sure why, because it can’t go nearly as fast as his truck and when I was a kid, speed trumped everything.
G and this boy did play on the playground for a little bit until G got mud on his feet and just decided to go home so he could clean them. When we came back, the boy was gone and G set out on an expedition to find him. I have to admit it was a little sad to see him driving around, looking for this boy and saying, “where’s my friend? I can’t find him. He’s missing.”
Is he over there?
Where did he go?
And we never did find him.
Manipulative Laughter
I discovered my new favorite thing to do with my kids; laughing just to make them laugh.
I first realized I could do this one morning a couple of weeks ago when I took G to school. We usually stop at his cubby outside his classroom to drop off any personal items he may have for the day and then we walk down the hall to the lunchroom where we leave his lunchbox and he waits for his teacher. On this particular morning, C thought it would be fun to run down the halls squealing with delight and G decided to follow her lead by racing her down the hall to the lunchroom. Naturally, I chased after them, which made it even funnier to them.
By the time we reached the lunchroom, the two of them stopped and just sort of stood there looking at each other and laughing hysterically. They did this for a while, even though there wasn’t anything particularly funny and ever since then, if one of them is laughing, I’ve noticed that the other laughs as well.
I suppose this bandwagon laughing happens for the same reason that you might laugh at something in a movie that’s not really funny just because everyone else laughs. I experienced that with the movie Nacho Libre. I saw it once with some co-workers and laughed at almost everything they laughed at. Not because I wanted them to think that I thought the same stuff was funny, I was genuinely laughing. When I saw it by myself I didn’t laugh at all. I guess that proves that laughter really is contagious.
I tried this out with C today and we spent the better part of the morning just laughing at each other for no reason. Of course, then I started to laugh for real because I think it’s funny that she’ll laugh just because I’m laughing. The great thing about this is that laughing so much can actually tire C out. Laughing has a bunch of other benefits, but I don’t think I really need to make a case here for laughter.
It’s also somewhat amusing that I can manipulate my kids into laughing. I haven’t tried it with adults, but I imagine it isn’t quite as easy.
The best laugh of the day.
I Want To Hang Out With Darth Vader
I took a different picture this morning with the intention of writing about something else, but in my opinion, Star Wars trumps everything so I have to talk about the following instead.
I came upon G as he was playing with a play telephone and he hung up as if he had just finished a conversation, and this is what he had to say to me:
“Daddy, I want to hang out with Darth Vader. I’m gonna go hang out with Darth Vader because I want to, ok.”
I have to mention here that before G was born I was trying to find a Star Wars name to give him and my wife and I seriously considered the name Darth. Despite hearing an earful from family and friends who told us that was the worst name ever, we only decided against it the moment G was born. And now I’m thinking it would have been totally appropriate.
Week 21
Quite a few extra pictures this week, mostly of C because G was upset at me a lot this week and ran away a lot. One day he’ll appreciate me. I hope.
Mmm. Yummy bubbles.
I didn’t post about this, but G was giving C a tour of his school.
Look, I have this chair!
You know food is good if it ends up all over your face.
Where’s my money?
She’s practicing her intimidation look while standing next to doorways for her possible future career as a bouncer.
Let me in.
Seriously, will someone let me in?
Maybe I can push it open.
Books are a lot more interesting when you look at them upside down.
Checking The Mail
Who would have thought checking the mail could be so exciting. I used to like checking the mail, but that was when I didn’t have to make a journey of getting to the mailbox.
The kids love it, even though they rarely get anything. I think it has something to do with using a key that makes it exciting for them. That and finding something in a box that someone else put there. It’s too bad that when they start getting bills in the mail, they’ll lose their love for the mailbox.
That is, if mail still even exists by the time they’re adults. Everyone seems to lament the fact that the mail system is suffering a slow death, but still won’t use it. While I can’t imagine that the postal service will ever truly go away, I’m sure it will serve in a very diminished capacity in the future. The possibility that one day we may be unable to send a letter by mail is sad to me because it not only signifies the slow death of mail, but of penmanship and effort.
It takes no effort to write an email. Writing a letter is far more laborious. It’s like the difference between buying a gift for someone or giving them a gift card or cash equivalent. Buying a gift takes more time, more thought, and is therefore more personal. Hand written letters are the same.
Plus I like the idea of people only getting an update from me three days after I’ve written it. No one’s life is fascinating enough where I can’t wait three days to hear about it. Facebook and Twitter keep us updated in realtime which is just stalkerish. I don’t need to know that my homies got ice cream three minutes ago, that’s not relevant to anything.
I’m digressing and being hypocritical because I can’t even remember the last time I wrote a letter. I think it might have been five or six years ago. The point is that I feel sad for my kids. They may never have to write a letter, and while some may find this inconsequential, it seems significant to me. Like never seeing an animal before it went extinct.
My Hammy Children
I try not to be obnoxious about my own interest in my kids because no other person in the world is going to find them as interesting as I do. Gushing about my kids is never my aim. I try to avoid the, “look at my kids, aren’t they so cute?” kind of posts, which is difficult to do when I put pictures of them in every single post.
Some posts are going to come off more gushy than others, and unfortunately, this post is one of many that will probably come off on the gushy side. So bear with me or stop reading.
The daily act of snapping pictures in my kids’ faces has helped them develop a love of the camera. It’s cliché, but they are such hams. There are times when they find it annoying and will do anything to avoid the camera, but much of the time they ask to have their pictures taken. Today was one of the days where they felt like being hammy.
C has recently learned to tilt her head up and say cheese directly at me whenever she spots the camera in my hand. G’s more advanced vocabulary allows for a more demanding call for photos when he tells me, “Daddy, take a picture of me,” as he did when he jumped on what I think is supposed to be a giant earthworm pictured above.
On the one hand, this makes my attempts at photographing the kids a lot easier. On the other hand, I worry my children will turn into conceited and egotistical people that can’t make friends, because who wants to be friends with someone like that? I guess time will tell, but I think if I can avoid endless complements and ego rubbing on my part, they should turn out fine.
Friends Are Better Than Parents At Any Age
I hate to be presumptuous, but I think most parents want to be the most influential people in their kids’ lives. While my parents are awesome and I love them, they’re still a very close number two. If you’re a parent and you haven’t realized it, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that friends are more influential in your kids’ lives than you are.
The cool thing about toddlers is that they’re at an age when they start to become social beings. They can interact with other kids physically, verbally and emotionally. While it’s great that G gets to interact with kids his age while we’re not around, I sometimes dislike the influences his friends have on him. In fact, I’m convinced that nearly every bad habit G has, was either learned or has been amplified via his schoolmates.
Since exposing G to other kids out there in the world, I’ve become a lot more apprehensive about the types of kids he plays with. Despite my disdain for the neighborhood bully, as I like to call him, G still wants to play with this boy. I don’t know why he wants to befriend this kid, and I should be proud of my son’s continual efforts, but I’d rather he stay away from the kid so he doesn’t pick up the bad behavior. Is that wrong? I know I’m being judgy, but that’s all parents do. We judge. And that kid sucks.
Positive influences on my kids make me happy. I’m more than willing to let my kids run around with friends who, while they may get into some mischief, are generally positive influences and won’t teach my kids things like, violence, insane yelling, or snotty behavior. Today my kids got treated to some positive influences while hanging out with some of our friends’ kids.
Just look at them sitting in their little booth, eating their frozen yogurt nicely at the table. I love my son, but he has the worst table sitting skills because he usually doesn’t just sit and enjoy his food. I was pleasantly surprised by the total lack of ruckus.
The kids wouldn’t do this for me. If I took them both out by myself and asked them to sit nicely at a tiny table by themselves, it wouldn’t happen. Kids aren’t usually trying to impress or copy their parents. I mean, they do try to copy their parents because they pick up on our habits too, but with friends it’s different.
When kids are with their peers, they’re on hyper alert to behave as their friends do. And kids always prefer their friends over their parents. Except for me. I chose evenings with my parents over my friends on several occasions when I was a teenager and I’m still scratching my head on that one. I just chock it up to my parents being really cool to hang out with.
My kids won’t do that because I’m not cool enough to hang out with. Or, at least I hope my kids don’t ever think I’m cooler than their friends because that would mean they have really lame friends.
